Words of the Father

How a person communicates - like height, eye color, temperament, is a product of genetics and environment, largely influenced by family. I thought about this during the weekend, with its emphasis on fathers. For example, my earliest memories of my father are communication-related. Interpersonally, I watched him interact with a smallish circle of people, mostly relatives, in a very authentic way that gave those listening a clear idea of what he believed in, what he was “about.” Voices could be raised to quite a high level during debates with his brothers, also opinionated, extremely articulate and intellectual men themselves. (As I hear it, some of these qualities no doubt come from my grandfather, who was a Seventh-day Adventist preacher in India and so loved public speaking and an audience.)

An avid reader, my father was drawn to biographies and historical books, sharing with my sisters, mother and me what he learned about US presidents, Mahatma Gandhi, other Indian political leaders. He is 82 now, and running the day to day operations of a nonprofit health and social charity for children and families in India (www.cupinternational.org), a dream he fulfilled upon his retirement from international public health service 20 years ago. Taking on this leadership role, I watched my father grow into a prolific and sensitive public speaker, overcoming some of the shyness I’d seen in him earlier in his life. More of an introvert, he didn’t usually welcome a big audience back then. Embracing a newer role for himself, he now projects power, sensitivity and grace when speaking with audiences, whether his own staff, potential donors or the Boards of Directors he leads on behalf of CUP.
And he loves to write.

As much as we urge him to delegate this task seemingly beneath him, he still prefers to write the quarterly newsletters, annual reports, proposals for fundraising – all himself. They are tightly written, with fantastic use of language and business style. He works with his local printers himself to get everything produced in a polished and professional way – I think he doesn’t mind doing it himself, as busy as his days are. For the true creative, the true communicator, it’s so much easier to capture your own thoughts rather than dictate to someone else or rely on someone else to capture your true essence, what you really want to say, the parts of the story that are really important to convey.

My daughter, six and a half, carries with her always a notepad, journal, pen... ready to jot thoughts and news at a moment's whim. My father told me recently this was me as a child - always writing stories, plays, notes, cards, lists... i certainly embraced that childhood tendency and turned it into my actual life's work as a professional. I guess, in that, I am my father's daughter.

What communication tendencies and choices have come from your father, your family? It's a fascinating topic - let me know!

Until then, take care and communicate authentically,
Jaya